Category: Live Well and Remember to Laugh (page 1 of 2)

Lord of the Rings Christmas Special

“Seven swans to rule them all,

Six geese to find them,

Five rings to bring them all,

And in the pear tree bind them.”

Taxes

Found this on ArmstrongEconomics.com

This is Why I Love the Satire of Babylon Bee

https://babylonbee.com/news/motorcycle-that-identifies-as-bicycle-sets-world-cycling-record

They show the insanity of the world in humour.

From The Simpsons

“But Marge, I swear to you – I never thought you’d find out.”

Apu “Please do not offer my god a peanut.”

“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”

“I don’t have to be careful, I’ve got a gun!”

“First you tell me not to get it, then you tell me to take it back. Make up your mind.”

Nelson “Society blows.”

The Debbie Downer of the Blogosphere

This is the role I have to fight hard against, since my natural tendency is to focus on everything horrible that is happening in the world. Being a Cassandra type, my invented mission is to alert everyone, and the result is that no one believes me because it is too negative.

So, to make sure that I don’t constantly depress my readers, I sometimes post quotes that are witty, clever or insightful. Here are a few:

“I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.” – Lenny Bruce

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“There is no such thing as “fun for the whole family.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

“Any man who has $10,000.00 left when he dies is a failure.” – Errol Flynn

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker

“The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.” – P. De Vries

“Santa Claus has the right idea; visit people once a year.” – V. Borge

“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.” – Y. Berra

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – J. Mason

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – G. Marx

“I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” – S. Wright

“The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax murderer.” – P. Poundstone

Summertime, And The Blogging is Breezy

In other words, a little more relaxed and infrequent than usual.

But don’t despair, I will still be navigating the uncharted waters of the hydroquogosphere, and reporting back whenever I can.

In the meantime, scroll through the blog backwards to the beginning. The posts are all quite short, so it won’t take much of your time. You will revisit old LOL favourites, and maybe learn something new and fresh. That’s why reruns exist – we humans are self-forgetting machines.

Slan go foill (which is Irish for goodbye for now, and sorry, but I don’t know how to add the accents above the letters on WordPress).

Six Months to Christmas

The perfect day to share my favourite Christmas cat commercial. Enjoy.

We The North

Even if you aren’t a sports fan, winning a championship has a kind of infectious excitement.

Toronto now has a winning sports team for the first time in over 20 years. That makes a lot of people proud and really happy. And that’s a nice thing.

There is plenty of time to write about more pressing matters – but not today.

Enjoy The Raptors Victory!

Cowboy Wisdom

Even though I am a Cityit, and basically ignorant of all things rural, I have a great appreciation for people who have homesteading skills, and could actually survive in the wilderness. I’m more like an Afghan Hound, a dog of such profound learned helplessness that a sprained ankle is the end of all things.

Here are a few quotes from robust people like Cowboys:

“Don’t judge people by their relatives.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.”

“Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

To Benefit Womenkind

I am going to leave my husbands brain to science. He is brilliant, but that’s not the reason for the donation.

Inside his brain, the scientists will find trillions of 3x3x3 mm boxes, like brunoise, filled with unheard, ignored, and unfinished requests like ‘take the garbage out and feed the cat.’ The mystery of the written grocery list, where he comes home with 3 items from a 4 item list will be solved.

When the male brain enigma is finally resolved, then drugs can be created for pregnant women that will rebuild the Swiss cheese portion of the male fetus brain.

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