In other words, a little more relaxed and infrequent than usual.
But don’t despair, I will still be navigating the uncharted waters of the hydroquogosphere, and reporting back whenever I can.
In the meantime, scroll through the blog backwards to the beginning. The posts are all quite short, so it won’t take much of your time. You will revisit old LOL favourites, and maybe learn something new and fresh. That’s why reruns exist – we humans are self-forgetting machines.
Slan go foill (which is Irish for goodbye for now, and sorry, but I don’t know how to add the accents above the letters on WordPress).
Even though I am a Cityit, and basically ignorant of all things rural, I have a great appreciation for people who have homesteading skills, and could actually survive in the wilderness. I’m more like an Afghan Hound, a dog of such profound learned helplessness that a sprained ankle is the end of all things.
Here are a few quotes from robust people like Cowboys:
“Don’t judge people by their relatives.”
“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.”
“Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.”
“Always drink upstream from the herd.”
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”
I am going to leave my husbands brain to science. He is brilliant, but that’s not the reason for the donation.
Inside his brain, the scientists will find trillions of 3x3x3 mm boxes, like brunoise, filled with unheard, ignored, and unfinished requests like ‘take the garbage out and feed the cat.’ The mystery of the written grocery list, where he comes home with 3 items from a 4 item list will be solved.
When the male brain enigma is finally resolved, then drugs can be created for pregnant women that will rebuild the Swiss cheese portion of the male fetus brain.
For those of us who were born into the culture of the British Isles, we are gifted with a family motto. Or cursed. Some are empowering and others are quite grim and depressing. The one I got saddled with at birth is about suffering with no way out. Great. That’ll help.
How dark can they get? I wonder if any exist that are so bad that they actually have a predictive element to them like Death By Drowning.
If you are from a culture that is mercifully free from generational curses, you don’t need to feel bereft. Just write one yourself and proudly hang it over the entrance to your abode, like a Delphic maxim “In old age, give good advice.” And guaranteed your worldly wisdom will fall on deaf ears.
The Babylon Bee is a Christian satirical website in the style of that other great satirical website The Onion.
Satire can be brilliantly effective at encouraging us to challenge the way our society is run. It is a more crucial element of our democracy than we perhaps think, and we should fight to bring it back to the prime-time slots it deserves.
Satire serves as an antidote to the poison of censorship.
Inviting people over for dinner is too stressful for me. It takes three to four days to clean the house, to shop, to prep, to stress, to serve, to clean up after, and then second guess everything. I’m missing the easy going, drop in anytime, Newfoundland style hospitality gene. So I don’t do it. That’s what restaurants are for.
Having said that, we have to eat dinner every night, and part of the selection is the appropriate music. My royal consort suffers from mild misophonia, and the slurping, chorpling, throat clicking sounds of eating have to be masked.
Like wine, you can set the mood of the meal with different styles of music. You can be endlessly creative. Just make sure it’s not too loud and not too soft – just baby bear right.
Try it. It’s another way to art direct your life.
p.s. My favourite funny quote about wine is from 30 Rock, when Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) invests in a winery.
“Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of satan after a hefty portion of asparagus.”