Wounds From a Friend

For various reasons, our herd of friends undergoes a natural thinning over the years like our hair.

Sometimes it was because they asked us for our opinion, and we thought they wanted the truth, so we told them, and they were hurt and angry and left us.

The following is from an article written by Poh Fang Chia, where she also quotes from Proverbs 27:6 – Wounds from a friend can be trusted:

“Charles Lowery complained to his friend about lower back pain. He was seeking a sympathetic ear, but what he got was an honest assessment. His friend told him, “I don’t think your back pain is your problem; it’s your stomach. Your stomach is so big it’s pulling on your back.” Charles resisted the temptation to be offended. He lost the weight and his back problem went away.”

“The trouble is that so often we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism, for truth hurts. It bruises our ego, makes us uncomfortable, and calls for change. True friends don’t find pleasure in hurting us. Rather, they love us too much to deceive us. They are people who, with loving courage, point out what we may already know but find hard to truly accept and live by. They tell us not only what we like to hear but also what we need to hear. “

Perhaps it is time to reconsider our opinion of those ‘annoying’ friends. If we have been living on a diet of deceitful flattery, maybe we should taste test the fruits of beneficial truth once in a while.

7 Comments

  1. Sometimes the herd is thinned so drastically, few or none remain. I know my fondest memories have always included friends. Your friends are not here to live up to your expectations, they are here to share moments, some are actually wonderful . I can’t imagine being alone as old age creeps in, perhaps that’s the secret to longevity….friends.

  2. To the Forthright One and her husband…I am sorry you have to hear this from me but my wife and I think we need to be totally honest: you two are the most fun, interesting and overtly nice people we have ever met. We apologize for any discomfort or hurt this truth may cause you.

  3. It seems that I am an empath and feel everything another feels/thinks experiencially (no need to interpret). It is rare that I would invade inner sanctuaries while there are ways, metaphors, stories and playfulness which may do the job sweetly. The conscious mind may be strong but the unconscious mind is very tender and closes down like a clam when touched (or a sensitive plant). The truth (to me) celebrates the wonder of another and only contests what does not worship this truth (from outside or inside). Oddly, the worst ‘noise’ comes from inside!

  4. Thank you. A thought provoking blog
    I’m as blunt as a butter knife!
    I make it as clear as I can…
    If you want the truth ask for it. Otherwise you might just get what you want to hear.

  5. Maggie Jones

    May 7, 2019 at 9:23 am

    So true.

  6. I totally agree. It can still be hard to hear the truth. In addition you have to really believe in the friend – that they are telling you out of love. Trust and acceptance.

  7. Kenda Summers

    May 7, 2019 at 8:14 am

    Haa haa. Nice….deep

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